Saturday, August 18, 2007

Introducing Myself


This is a biohazard. To what exactly? Hm. Perhaps to the very essence of this massive infra - or perhaps inter - structure we, the humble masses, know and love as the Internet. Well, that sounds pretty cool, doesn't it? No? Pity. I thought I was finally becoming the writer I once aspired to be. What a shame. I gave myself a shred of hope and then dashed it quite thoroughly a sentence later. That, ladies and gentlemen, takes talent. Not everyone can do that.

So who am I? As it says just a few inches to the right in the section aptly titled "About Me," I am a 23 year old male who resides in Florida, USA. Yes, yes, I can see you all drooling. Hot girls, great weather, and of course, Disney World (among the countless other theme parks). Before you all get lost in your own dreamworld of what you think Florida is, I am here to set you straight.

Florida is, above all else, hot. This great weather of which many of you seem to think we have is nothing more than rain, humidity, and extremely hot temperatures. Over the past month, we've had tons of rain, 100% humidity, and temperatures well above 100 degrees. That's every single day! It doesn't get much better than that during the summertime. I know, I know, a LOT of places are like that. The entire country has been one big frying pan of late. I shouldn't complain, but I'm one of those people that don't handle heat well. I prefer the cold, my friends. The bitter, chilling, teeth chattering, finger numbing, sub zero cold. Only then am I truly happy. Bad place for me to be living then, hm?

We have beaches. We have hot girls. We have Disney World, Universal Studios, Islands of Adventure, and the Epcot Center. Big whoop. It's hot, it's humid, it's rainy, and the 4 million people that live around those theme parks all decide to visit on the same day. Same deal goes for the beaches. Hot, humid, rainy, and jam packed beaches, most of which can hardly be called beaches. Everywhere you look, things are being commercialized and up goes a Starbucks. Death to you, Starbucks. Death to you.

I'm a geek. That means I love things like computers and video games and I can often be found wearing a tin foil hat in the shape of a medieval helmet and wielding a wooden stick widdled into what loosely resembles a sword... or is it a dagger? I believe it started out as a giant sword, but I kept screwing up, so by the time I was done, I only had enough tree branch to make a dagger. Either way.

No, I'm not one of those World of Warcraft geeks that spend 18 hours a day spamming "U R teh n00b!" on the general chat channels. I am, however, a Guild Wars geek. I spend too much time on that game. I am guilty of loving the feel of a sword, axe, spear, dagger, or bow in my digital and pixelated hand. I slay dragons and orcs and goblins and get great joy out of it. Someone has to save the land of the elves. Might as well be me.

But when I'm not thrusting my trusty blade into the belly of my often times undead foes, I am unleashing a fury of bullets into terrorist (or communist) scum. Battlefield 2 and Battlefield 2142 are my games of choice and I'd like to think I'm fairly good at both of them. If any of my readers (What? I have readers?) should play these games and find a hapless medic named [LaL]MedicByChoice tripping over himself in BF2 or find a clueless general named [LaL]Patch_1-3 in BF2142, drop me a line and preferably let me live for a few moments longer while I try to run the other way.

Aside from spending my time at the computer, I'm a hockey nut. I love the NHL and I love the New Jersey Devils. Why do I love the Devils over my hometown Tampa Bay Lightning? Well... have you seen the Lightning lately? That answers that question right there.

Well, I suppose that wraps things up for part 1 of my introduction. I shall write again later.

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