Do you...

...ever feel completely out of place at social events? I do. Every time. This is why I avoid them most of the time. I generally don't know the people that are going and I don't have anything to say. Tonight, I attended a social event at a pizza place. All of the people sit around me, talking it up, and I sit there staring at a half empty glass of water. The highlight of the evening is when the waiter/waitress comes by and asks if I want more water. Then and only then is something said or asked that I can relate to and respond to. This is why I don't get out much.

I guess I could attempt to make conversation, but I've never been very good at it. I'm not the type of person that demands to know every little detail about every little thing. I just don't have to know, and often times I don't think to ask someone to elaborate. I ask a question, they answer, and it ends. I'm told quite often that I'm extremely difficult to talk to. I realize this. I try, but it's just not in my nature. There's also the fact that I don't know the person and most likely won't be able to relate to anything they have to say. How do you deal with that?

I made a random comment here and there and someone would respond, but that was the extent of my involvement in the conversations at hand. For an hour after we ate, we stood outside the restaurant and everyone talked. I stood there. Silently. Everyone knows everyone else and went on and on about things I hadn't a clue about. I, being relatively new to the church where these people came from, didn't know anyone. I was introduced to a guy that my brother was talking to, but I forgot his name seconds later. That's not because I wasn't paying attention, but it's because I have a terrible short term memory. I leaned up against a wall for most of the hour and watched people.

I guess that despite being so uncomfortable at these things, I would probably go again if asked. I've been a bit more social lately. I guess this is just something you go through, especially being some that's so shy. It's inevitable to feel weird. Maybe the mor eI do these things, the better I'll be able to talk to these people. They seemed nice enough, I suppose. Meh. I don't know. They're all married off with kids of their own. I can't relate to that. I don't even have a girlfriend. Hm.

There's a hockey game on. I'm going to watch that.

Hej då.